Stuck on Scholastic’s 1984 Music Stickers

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Ah, the 1980s. New Wave, pop metal, MTV and the Top 40. Forget tracking likes and shares on social media to understand a slice of a target audience. When something was a hit, the whole country knew it — whether or not everyone liked it. Educational publisher Scholastic, for one, had mid-80s kids all figured out, and B.K. Taylor, Samuel B. Whitehead and Jovial Bob Stine (R.L. Stine of Goosebumps fame) had their fingers on our funny bone. They created huge sheets of 80 stickers lampooning video games and our favorite music, and Scholastic sold them for $1.50 through its highly anticipated monthly book orders in 1984-85. We plastered them all over our book covers, our folders, our notebooks, our sticker books, and yes, even our Trapper Keepers.

The humor on these gems still holds up, especially for GenXers, but certainly today’s music connoisseurs can find the humor in those that poke fun at superstars Michael Jackson, Van Halen, Ozzy Osbourne, Prince, Bruce Springsteen and Def Leppard.

If kids today don’t know who the Go-Gos, Elvis Costello, Duran Duran, Billy Idol, The Police, John Cougar (Mellencamp) or the Cars are, well, here’s an opportunity for some cross-generational bonding — and much laughter, especially if, during your reminiscing, you can find old Solid Gold clips, ads for Walkmans and pictures of people fawning over Huey Lewis. Those were the days.

Some things don’t change, though. What kid today won’t be able to identify with “If it’s too loud, you’re too old?”

And now MTV isn’t even radio.

In the grand scheme of things, we do live next door to Mars. Is this also the
world’s only Tito Jackson sticker?

The 30-minute “Thriller” video was less creepy than this sticker.

When’s the last time you even pondered Adam Ant?

If only the mystery sticker would have had us
Guess Who the rock star was… it would have made more sense.

Change Walkman to “earbuds” and this one translates just fine.
I have often wondered who taught Def Leppard to spell.

Pick up some vinyl at your local record store on Record Store Day this month
(or make any day Record Store Day) and scratch that itch!

That explains those chiseled features…

Duran Duran – the jokes here are the same same.

If you close one eye, does it still sound the same?

Some questions just shouldn’t be asked.

Is this supposed to be a compliment to the band?

As opposed to a Big Mac attack, I presume. Better than having a heart attack, though it’s possible that’s going on as well, here. Maybe he just found out his
copy of Rumours isn’t collectible.