Stuck on Scholastic’s 1984 Music Stickers

by TW on April 6, 2014

Ah, the 1980s. New Wave, pop metal, MTV and the Top 40. Forget tracking likes and shares on social media to understand a slice of a target audience. When something was a hit, the whole country knew it — whether or not everyone liked it. Educational publisher Scholastic, for one, had mid-80s kids all figured out, and B.K. Taylor, Samuel B. Whitehead and Jovial Bob Stine (R.L. Stine of Goosebumps fame) had their fingers on our funny bone. They created huge sheets of 80 stickers lampooning video games and our favorite music, and Scholastic sold them for $1.50 through its highly anticipated monthly book orders in 1984-85. We plastered them all over our book covers, our folders, our notebooks, our sticker books, and yes, even our Trapper Keepers. 

The humor on these gems still holds up, especially for GenXers, but certainly today’s music connoisseurs can find the humor in those that poke fun at superstars Michael Jackson, Van Halen, Ozzy Osbourne, Prince, Bruce Springsteen and Def Leppard.

If kids today don’t know who the Go-Gos, Elvis Costello, Duran Duran, Billy Idol, The Police, John Cougar (Mellencamp) or the Cars are, well, here’s an opportunity for some cross-generational bonding — and much laughter, especially if, during your reminiscing, you can find old Solid Gold clips, ads for Walkmans and pictures of people fawning over Huey Lewis. Those were the days.  

Some things don’t change, though. What kid today won’t be able to identify with “If it’s too loud, you’re too old?”

Here are 75 of the 80 stickers from that “Rockstickers” poster, copyright 1984, Scholastic, ISBN 0-590-36822-2. Click on each one to see it up close and personal.

And now MTV isn't even radio.

And now MTV isn’t even radio.

scholastic003

In the grand scheme of things, we do live next door to Mars. Is this also the
world’s only Tito Jackson sticker?

scholastic004

The 30-minute “Thriller” video was less creepy than this sticker.

scholastic006

When’s the last time you even pondered Adam Ant?

scholastic007

If only the mystery sticker would have had us
Guess Who the rock star was… it would have made more sense.

scholastic008

Change Walkman to “earbuds” and this one translates just fine. 
I have often wondered who taught Def Leppard to spell.

scholastic017

Pick up some vinyl at your local record store on Record Store Day this month
(or make any day Record Store Day) and scratch that itch!

scholastic018

That explains those chiseled features…

scholastic019

Duran Duran – the jokes here are the same same.

scholastic020

If you close one eye, does it still sound the same?

scholastic021

Some questions just shouldn’t be asked.

scholastic022

Is this supposed to be a compliment to the band?

scholastic023

As opposed to a Big Mac attack, I presume. Better than having a heart attack, though it’s possible that’s going on as well, here. Maybe he just found out his
copy of Rumours isn’t collectible.

scholastic024

Do you suppose anyone ever followed the instructions
and slapped this sticker on Billy Idol?

scholastic025

Remember when Marilyn McCoo was everywhere?

scholastic026

Chuck Berry: “Do as I say, not…”

scholastic027

Wait, I thought Billy was her idol…

scholastic028

What do you suppose tops the charts in Egypt?


– Cathy Jones
www.bernardyjones.com

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