Stuck on Scholastic’s 1984 Music Stickers

by TW on April 6, 2014

Ah, the 1980s. New Wave, pop metal, MTV and the Top 40. Forget tracking likes and shares on social media to understand a slice of a target audience. When something was a hit, the whole country knew it — whether or not everyone liked it. Educational publisher Scholastic, for one, had mid-80s kids all figured out, and B.K. Taylor, Samuel B. Whitehead and Jovial Bob Stine (R.L. Stine of Goosebumps fame) had their fingers on our funny bone. They created huge sheets of 80 stickers lampooning video games and our favorite music, and Scholastic sold them for $1.50 through its highly anticipated monthly book orders in 1984-85. We plastered them all over our book covers, our folders, our notebooks, our sticker books, and yes, even our Trapper Keepers. 

The humor on these gems still holds up, especially for GenXers, but certainly today’s music connoisseurs can find the humor in those that poke fun at superstars Michael Jackson, Van Halen, Ozzy Osbourne, Prince, Bruce Springsteen and Def Leppard.

If kids today don’t know who the Go-Gos, Elvis Costello, Duran Duran, Billy Idol, The Police, John Cougar (Mellencamp) or the Cars are, well, here’s an opportunity for some cross-generational bonding — and much laughter, especially if, during your reminiscing, you can find old Solid Gold clips, ads for Walkmans and pictures of people fawning over Huey Lewis. Those were the days.  

Some things don’t change, though. What kid today won’t be able to identify with “If it’s too loud, you’re too old?”

Here are 75 of the 80 stickers from that “Rockstickers” poster, copyright 1984, Scholastic, ISBN 0-590-36822-2. Click on each one to see it up close and personal.

scholastic002 216x300 Stuck on Scholastics 1984 Music Stickers

And now MTV isn’t even radio.

scholastic003 214x300 Stuck on Scholastics 1984 Music Stickers

In the grand scheme of things, we do live next door to Mars. Is this also the
world’s only Tito Jackson sticker?

scholastic004 72x300 Stuck on Scholastics 1984 Music Stickers

The 30-minute “Thriller” video was less creepy than this sticker.

scholastic006 Stuck on Scholastics 1984 Music Stickers

When’s the last time you even pondered Adam Ant?

scholastic007 217x300 Stuck on Scholastics 1984 Music Stickers

If only the mystery sticker would have had us
Guess Who the rock star was… it would have made more sense.

scholastic008 217x300 Stuck on Scholastics 1984 Music Stickers

Change Walkman to “earbuds” and this one translates just fine. 
I have often wondered who taught Def Leppard to spell.

scholastic017 72x300 Stuck on Scholastics 1984 Music Stickers

Pick up some vinyl at your local record store on Record Store Day this month
(or make any day Record Store Day) and scratch that itch!

scholastic018 Stuck on Scholastics 1984 Music Stickers

That explains those chiseled features…

scholastic019 300x105 Stuck on Scholastics 1984 Music Stickers

Duran Duran – the jokes here are the same same.

scholastic020 300x104 Stuck on Scholastics 1984 Music Stickers

If you close one eye, does it still sound the same?

scholastic021 141x300 Stuck on Scholastics 1984 Music Stickers

Some questions just shouldn’t be asked.

scholastic022 Stuck on Scholastics 1984 Music Stickers

Is this supposed to be a compliment to the band?

scholastic023 Stuck on Scholastics 1984 Music Stickers

As opposed to a Big Mac attack, I presume. Better than having a heart attack, though it’s possible that’s going on as well, here. Maybe he just found out his
copy of Rumours isn’t collectible.

scholastic024 300x99 Stuck on Scholastics 1984 Music Stickers

Do you suppose anyone ever followed the instructions
and slapped this sticker on Billy Idol?

scholastic025 142x300 Stuck on Scholastics 1984 Music Stickers

Remember when Marilyn McCoo was everywhere?

scholastic026 Stuck on Scholastics 1984 Music Stickers

Chuck Berry: “Do as I say, not…”

scholastic027 145x300 Stuck on Scholastics 1984 Music Stickers

Wait, I thought Billy was her idol…

scholastic028 300x102 Stuck on Scholastics 1984 Music Stickers

What do you suppose tops the charts in Egypt?


– Cathy Jones
www.bernardyjones.com

Previous post:

Next post: